Moving from the Judger to the Learner Mindset
From
Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 7 Powerful Tools for Life and Work
by Marilee Adams, Ph.D.
What is the learner/judger mindset?
Judger | Learner |
Judgmental of self and/of others | Accepting of self and others |
Reactive and automatic | Responsive and thoughtful |
Know-it-already | Values not-knowing |
Inflexible and rigid | Flexible and adaptive |
Either/or thinking | Both/and thinking |
Self-righteous | Inquisitive |
Afraid of difference | Values difference |
Defends assumptions | Questions assumptions |
Possibilities seem as limited | Possibilities seen as unlimited |
Primary mode: protective | Primary mode: curious |
We all have both mindsets, and we have the power to choose how we operate in any moment. |
How do judger/learner relationships differ?
Judger | Learner |
Wins-lose relationships | Win-win relationships |
Feels separate from others | Feels connected with others |
Fears differences | Values differences |
Debates | Dialogues |
Criticizes | Critiques |
Listens for: | Listens for: |
Right/wrong | Facts |
Agree/disagree | Understanding |
Differences | Commonalities |
Feedback perceived as rejection | Feedback perceived as worthwhile |
Seeks to attack or defend | Seeks to resolve and create |
We all relate from both mindsets; and we have the power to choose how we relate in any moment. |