Moving from the Judger to the Learner Mindset
From
Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 7 Powerful Tools for Life and Work
by Marilee Adams, Ph.D.
What is the learner/judger mindset?
| Judger | Learner |
| Judgmental of self and/of others | Accepting of self and others |
| Reactive and automatic | Responsive and thoughtful |
| Know-it-already | Values not-knowing |
| Inflexible and rigid | Flexible and adaptive |
| Either/or thinking | Both/and thinking |
| Self-righteous | Inquisitive |
| Afraid of difference | Values difference |
| Defends assumptions | Questions assumptions |
| Possibilities seem as limited | Possibilities seen as unlimited |
| Primary mode: protective | Primary mode: curious |
| We all have both mindsets, and we have the power to choose how we operate in any moment. | |
How do judger/learner relationships differ?
| Judger | Learner |
| Wins-lose relationships | Win-win relationships |
| Feels separate from others | Feels connected with others |
| Fears differences | Values differences |
| Debates | Dialogues |
| Criticizes | Critiques |
| Listens for: | Listens for: |
| Right/wrong | Facts |
| Agree/disagree | Understanding |
| Differences | Commonalities |
| Feedback perceived as rejection | Feedback perceived as worthwhile |
| Seeks to attack or defend | Seeks to resolve and create |
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We all relate from both mindsets; and we have the power to choose how we relate in any moment. |
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